As you start your healthy hair journey and for those of you already on a healthy hair journey for a minute, stop an think about your mindset about your hair and your children's hair. This journey is more than about finding the right product or technique to work for your hair. It is bigger than just retaining length and defining your curl pattern. I would say that 1/2 of your journey is a change in mindset towards your Afro textured hair. Most people do not give this part of their journey much thought if any thought. They just skip ahead lurking on hair boards for that one product or technique which will make their hair FABULOUS to them. Before you find that wonderful product mix or technique your mindset must already be that your hair is FABULOUS.
If you are honest, what are your thoughts towards your hair? Does it bother you when I refer to black hair as Afro hair? Once while answering a question I made a reference to Afro hair, the lady who asked the question responded by stating, that her hair is curly not Afro textured. I explained to her that when I say Afro hair I am referring to black peoples hair. I use the terms interchangeably. If your hair can puff out into an Afro then that is Afro hair. And since I was standing in front of her, I could see that she did indeed have Afro hair, with a looser curl pattern. All Afro hair is curly, with degrees of curls. But she thought her hair was separate from Afro hair, that was her mindset about black hair. Mind you the lady was a black person with Afro texture hair. We all have a particular mindset about black hair. Have you ever said or thought these things about your hair or about your children's hair?
"My hair is rough"
"My hair is so nappy I am tempted to go back to the creamy crack!"
"My son has a nice grade of hair, but my daughter, I have never seen hair so kinky."
"My hair is to nappy to do a wash and go."
"Boy go get the brush so I can brush your nappy pappy hair!"
"Girl I need a touch up my roots feel rough."
"Sorry but I just can't deal with my nappy hair!"
" Yea she can use that, because she has that good hair, but this stuff on my head, will not cooperate!"
"I just cannot get my natural hair to look presentable!"
Do any of these statement sound close to what you have said to someone or thought to yourself? Most of these are very common phrases and adjectives we use to describe our black Afro hair. We consistently call our hair: nappy, kinky, rough, woolly, unruly and much more. We do not need any other group to talk about us because we do a good job of that ourselves. But do you ever expect your hair to be beautiful if you continue to call it ugly names, every name except what it truly is, coily/curly. When you call your hair kinky or nappy you are saying that your hair is something odd or abnormal. These two words are not nice words to describe such a glorious gift from God. If you keep saying your hair is rough and cloudy and needs to be tamed, then that is what your hair will be. You have what you say, so your hair continues to act in the manner in which you refer to it. Then you become frustrated and go back to chemicals while carrying a sign which says, "Natural hair is not for everybody." You have become a self fulfilling prophecy, by the way you spoke in reference to your Afro crown. Now you have ventured back into the world of the creamy crack.
The Healthy Hair Equation
25% The "right" Products
25% The "right" Techniques
50% Individual (positive) mindset
=100% success (longer stronger hair)
In which area do you lack?
I separate the natural hair journey into 3 parts: 1/4 products, 1/4 technique and 1/2 individual mindset. If your mindset is not right towards your God given natural coil or curl, then you will defeat your journey by the words you speak and the negative thought patterns you repeat. Start today and be honest with yourself about your hair and how you feel about it. Be honest about your hair goals and desires. Start keeping a hair journal and for one week write down every thought good or bad you think about your hair. After one week, read back over what you have written and ask yourself why do you think you feel the way you do about your hair. Meditate on what has happened in your life to make you think this way about your beautiful crown. For example some people hate shrinkage and constantly let people know it. Well it is not that they actually "hate" shrinkage they just do not like having the appearance of short hair. But if they keep repeating a though pattern of "I hate my curl pattern because it shrinks so much, I wish I had a looser curl pattern with less shrinkage", their hair will never grow and flourish for them because they think so negatively towards it. As a matter of fact I know some women the more they complained about shrinkage the more their hair would shrink. All you have to know is that short hair is a season, treat it right create positive thoughts and in no time your hair will hang on your shoulders and past it. Do not waste time with negative thoughts about your hair, when you hair does not have to stay that way, it will grow. In the meantime enhance it with some same texture hair extensions so you can see longer hair and start to feel better. Enhance it do not cover it up. This change in hairstyle will change your mindset when you look in the mirror and in a short time you will no longer need to enhance your length with extensions, your natural coily/curly hair will be long enough to have lots of hang time.
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